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Monday, 10 November 2014

My Hero *advance warning* Just me being the soft muppet i am!!! LOL

Sorry it's been ages since I got round to doing another post *slaps wrist*. I really do need to get my arse in gear lol. We have had loads going on here with visits in the half term from Alfie and Dawson, which included Alfie's birthday, trying to sort out a remortgage and getting quotes for a loft conversion (which has been put on hold as just out of price range *Boo!!* ), it has been pretty stressful on me and the missus but never mind we are both still here and on top of all that I have the anniversary of my Grandad's passing coming up.

I know my blog is about stitching and it was only gonna be about that when I first thought about it, but let's be honest it never has been (coz I waffle on even when typing *lmao*). So for this one I wanna talk about my hero!!

Not the best picture but the best I could do right now

So where to start............. My Grandad was the most perfect Grandad I could wish for. Yes he could shout (and used to scare the crap outta me when he did), but he was also the most loving Grandad too. One cuddle from him made you feel so safe and protected, and cuddles happen loads more than the telling you off. I'm sure he didn't means to sound so scary when he shouted and probably didn't even know he did! He would just be telling us off for doing something silly ( in my case most probably beating up my little bro lol).

I don't really wanna go into his life story too much as it probably not too interesting for all of you but I will tell you a bit. His name was Derek William Howard but always went by the name Bill (not sure if there is a reason for that other than Derek is a awful name * lol* ). He joined the Royal Navy at a young age and sailed all around the world. He met my Nan ( obviously she wasn't my Nan at the time *lol*) and they married. They both adored each other altho you wouldn't of believed it if you heard them bickering *lol*. They had 4 kids together and stayed together for the rest of their life's.
When he left the Navy he became a chippy (Carpenter not a chip shop owner *lol*). They were never rich people but what they had was yours if you wanted it and would always spend time with there Grandkids not just have them round for babysitting duty but actually spent time with us. I have such amazing memories of summer holidays when we would stay there in the day coz my Mum had to work. Grandad would teach me how to use tools and stuff like that, we just had a blast.
Life continued like that until my Nan passed. To be honest Grandad coped quite well considering and definitely better than my Nan would have. At Nan's funeral was the first time I saw my Grandad thru the non hero worshiping eyes, he looked sad, he looked fragile and he looked old before that he was always the big strong ex Navy bloke. If I am honest that upset me so much but it was a very emotional time for me
Like I say Grandad coped pretty well and started going out in the evenings once a week with my Mum and Dad. They only went to a little social club for a few drinks. Now this social club isn't the most happening place in the world and was mostly frequented by old people. My Grandad being the absolute legend he is became the one most of the old women want to sit with *LOL*. He also at the age of 84 came to see The Levellers with me. He loved it, this always makes me smile when I think of it too. The support act that night was The Wonder Stuff and they have a female violinist. So we left the venue and I asked what he thought and he said this "It was very good, I wish I could of been jumping around with you......*pauses* Oh and that bird on the violin was gorgeous!" I wonder where I get it from *Lmao*
Anyway after a good few years he started to become ill and was in and out of hospital towards the end. We all knew it was coming but still knocked me for six! I can still remember everything that happened that day......... I can still feel the sinking heartache when my phone rang at 09:56. It was one of them moments I just knew what had happened without picking it up. I left work straight away and walked  home, I got in at around 11 and just sat there shell shocked. I was talking to my cousin on Facebook and started doodling. I really didn't have any plans for getting inked but what came out was so perfect that i had to have it!
Later my Mum phoned and said that everyone had gone to my Grandad's house (which was at the end of my road). So off I went, I took my drawing with me coz lucky for me there is a tattooist about 500 yds from his house. So I walked into my Grandad's place and it felt empty, it just felt like a house not a home. Which was very odd for me and everyone else. My Nan and Grandad's place was always welcoming and it never felt different after my Nan passed. It felt to me as if my Nan might have stayed to wait for Grandad, then they both left together leaving the place empty and just a shell.
So anyway after spending sometime there with the family. I went straight to the tattooist and booked an appointment. Two days later I was inked

This ink was something I wanted to celebrate him, in my own little way show how he marked the person I am today. I also wanted it to be something for us both as I had always planned on getting one of his tattoos traced from his arm and put on me ( it was a pin up girl one if your interested). So how could I share this with him and no one else, well what I did was write a letter to him on the back of the original drawing and gave it him, just me and him have a copy now :-)
I had it inked on my shoulder blade so that he was always behind me driving me forward and ready to catch me if I fall, and on my chest I wear his St Christopher which will never leave me and I see that as him in front of me checking for problems before I reach them....... god I'm such a sad sack *lol*

One of the proudest day of my life was walking him into the church with all my cousins. Because he had served on active duty in the Navy he could have the white ensign draped on his coffin. I was struggling with the day anyway but that topped me off...... to this day I still think the tears that fell were equally of sadness and pride. It was like "Yeah, that is my Grandad.....My hero!"
So here I am, the person my hero helped mold. I can be very like him..... I sometimes shout unnecessarily, I can appear very guff but underneath all my bluff and bullshit is a very loving caring man. I hope I can am half the dad he was and in the future (far in the future kids!! *lol*) half the Grandad he was, that would mean I was doing ok and I know all my family feel the same!
If you are reading this dude or looking over me as I type I know you will be saying "Shut up you soft git!" and trying to slap me around the back of the head *lol*........ but it's all true Grandad........Love you and miss you everyday

So that me for another post sorry it's not stitchy but it just felt right